I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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