people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
