Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
