idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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