And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
