plz talk dirty to me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
