he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
