thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
