This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
