me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
