Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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