Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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