I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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