You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
