everyone is single if you try hard enough
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
