I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
