I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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