Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
