dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
