wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Text me some of your sweat
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