Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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