My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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