I am puke
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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