Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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