May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
