then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
