I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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