in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
