He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
40s are totally the cure
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
