i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
