I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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