ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
