i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
