I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I want a musical about memes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
