i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
