"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
