I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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