There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
