Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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