Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
