just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
