can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
