i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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