"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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