Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I look better un-naked...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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