Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
