You made me cry and you don't even care
We're facebook friends in real life
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
