he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
