I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
