She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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