Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
