Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
