HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
