yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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